The Story of Us
Today I’m joining in on the S.W.A.K. Valentine’s Carnival that cute little Kristen from We Are That Family (whom I got to meet at BlissDom) is putting on today. Over the next few days you can link up with her Mr. Linky and share the story of you and your Valentine. Write about whatever you want, as long as it pertains to the two of you. Then, go and read others’ stories.
Here’s a little bit about me and my man…
We met in college, and when he finally asked me out, I was t.h.r.i.l.l.e.d. cause I always “admired” his legs in Abnormal Psych. He was a cu-tee (and still is).
We’ve been married for 16 years. And I attribute that fact mostly to him.
I know every marriage is hard. The world isn’t kind to marriages. But I feel like he put up with a whole lot more in the early years than I did. Besides the silent fight we had about him leaving clothes draped on the bed when I preferred them draped nowhere, I had no complaints.
He had it harder, I’m afraid. I was a horrible communicator. I held grudges. And I held out no hope for a happy, full marriage. I was willing to settle for something mediocre and just get by.
But thankfully, he wasn’t.
I asked him if I could share this. When we had our first son, I had a hard time. I was dealing with family issues that spilled over into our relationship and when you both have your degrees in psychology, it doesn’t take long to realize you need counseling.
We went, we worked through stuff (I did, mostly) and we got on with our life together. We went one more time at a period when our situation had changed and old resentments, fear and silence (on my part, yet again) crept back in.
So we went, worked it out, talked it through, and grew.
We’ve grown a lot over 16 years. We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we have a strong, deep, loving marriage. Sometimes I don’t know how to do it all right. I don’t always know how to fight fair, balance everything and navigate through the daily challenges. But I do know the value of seeking good, Godly counsel and that, beyond a doubt, I don’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else, doing anything else.
{I’m glad you’re my Valentine…again.}
February 10th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
I started crying as I was reading this, because it felt as though I was the one who wrote it. Ohhhh I was not a very good wife at first and now am probably only mediocre at best…
February 10th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
So sweet. We refer to our first year of marriage as the year I was “psycho”. I am so thankful he stuck with me. I hope you have many more years together.
February 10th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
How great of you to share this story! It is certainly an inspiration to me, who is only going on 4 years of marriage, yet has already been to counseling. We’ve certainly had our rough patches, but hearing ‘success’ stories is encouraging!
February 10th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Thank you for sharing your story…I think every married couple can relate to having rough patches. Is there such thing as a “perfect marriage”? I know that I am not a perfect wife and I don’t have a perfect husband, but we a everlasting love and a desire to be with each other for the rest of our lives. No matter what we go through we go through it together and it makes us stronger.
February 11th, 2009 at 2:13 am
That is wonderful!! Not the having trouble part. We all have trouble sometimes. So good for you guys to know you needed help and get it. There is nothing more important than making your marriage work. There may be no perfect marriage but I feel like we all get perfection when we are willing to work at it and we remember the importance of it.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Thanks for sharing your story —like ours, after 22+ years, I think it’s all the rough patches that made our marriage stronger, and makes me love my husband even more!!
—-gosh I have to get my post finished–I’m enjoying reading everyone elses and haven’t finished mine yet.
Wonderful story!
~TidyMom
February 11th, 2009 at 6:34 am
What an awesome story! I can relate to much of it. My dad says that my husband has the patience of Job. I agree, because that’s the only way we could have survived those early years! =)
February 11th, 2009 at 7:02 am
That is an awesome story!
February 11th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to having those silent arguments/complaints. I was like that early in marriage as well and learned the hard way to communicate.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Thanks for sharing this. It always nice to be able to look back and see what God has brought us through and made us stronger for.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:50 am
What a wonderful, honest post! The world is so very unkind to marriages! Yay for sticking it out and working through all of the challenges that life throws at us. It always makes you stronger, doesn’t it?!
Mrs. Nurse Boy
February 11th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Now there’s an honest valentine story. And a great one at that.
February 11th, 2009 at 11:20 am
What a sweetLOVE story! I teared up reading it! Thanks for sharing it with us. Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 11th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
So sweet, sounds like you have one great man!
February 11th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
What a sweet story. Thanks for being real and sharing it with all of us!
February 11th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
what a great and honest post. thanks for sharing!!! wow. two degrees in psychology in one house, impressive. anyway, i think my marriage is as good as it is because my husband was never willing to settle for anything less!
February 11th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Great story. The work in a marriage is so underestimated, isn’t it?
February 11th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I’m glad to hear that you were able to work through it. My husband is the type that gives me the silent treatment when he gets mad…and it drives me crazy! But, we eventually get past it and move on.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
It’s always refreshing when you “see” someone in the blog world willing to be open and honest about the trials of life.
February 16th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I am a bit late in visiting via the SWAK carnival, but what a great story!